Codependency

Codependency is the straw that stirs the alcoholic’s drink!

Picture a toddler grasping onto her caretaker’s leg. Initially, the caretaker walks around stiff in a fun reciprocating way; it develops into a playful game.

Within a relatively short time, however, the caretaker is ready to move on to other pressing matters, or simply has become bored with the game, or walking like that has become uncomfortable.

But the toddler begins to hold on tighter and sustains her grip to the leg in a surprising feat of strength.

After failed attempts to shake the toddler off, the caretaker just continues to move around uncomfortably, doing his best to ignore the toddler.

But the toddler demands reciprocated attention.

Unfortunately, the more the toddler demands it, the more the caretaker does the opposite. This, now, not-so-playful game replays in a cycle.

This is one metaphorical form of codependency that plays out in relationships constantly.

Maybe even more than culture’s shaping the acceptance of chemical abuse, culture has constructed an expectation of codependency.

From the seemingly noble guise of putting others first before oneself, to the “romantic” and most repeated phrase in film history, “You complete me,” codependency lies within the marrow of unhealthy relationships – especially in relationships laden with addiction.

From parents, to spouses, to siblings, to children, to friends, codependency marks a clear pathway for continued negative behavior.

Codependency is an unconscious partnering with the alcoholic and addict.

Codependency is an addiction within itself, a process addiction. If one person in the relationship is taken away from the other, there will most certainly be a withdrawal that almost perfectly mimics that of an addict stopping the use of chemicals.

The idea of separating oneself from the relationship stirs up the same feelings an addict might have when contemplating ceasing substance abuse.

Another definition of codependency is doing something for someone else that the other person can do for himself.

Making a call to help a loved one wrapped in substance abuse issues IS NOT CODEPENDENCY because that loved one doesn’t have the current ability to make this healthy choice for himself.

Whether you’re deciding to call for a loved one or calling for yourself and your own codependency issues, now is the time.

Call (916) 995-8635 or complete the contact form to schedule your free initial phone assessment.